I was born when the sun was passing through the constellation, Libra. One of the symbols of Libra is the scales, the scales of justice that establish and protect balance. As a Libran my constitution is one that is drawn, consciously or subconsciously toward balance. I very often see both sides of an issue, drawn to neither one nor the other but taking value from each. (This also accounts for the Librans terrible reputation for being indecisive!)
Balance applies to virtually every aspect of life, without balance disorder and chaos would ensue. Currently the world financial systems are out of balance and this is causing reverberations throughout the world. Practically every world economy is off balance. This balance is further thrown off kilter by the growing ferocity in the disparity between rich and poor.
But let us talk about relationships, shall we? Balance also applies to relationships. When two people find themselves attracted to each other and decide to come together whether for an anonymous hook-up or an extended period of time, they hardly realize their attraction is based on a conception (or lack thereof) of balance. This primordial phenomenon is based on positive, negative and neutral energy. To some extent we learn about this in chemistry. But these three currents, positive, negative and neutral move far beyond chemistry. They apply to almost every aspect of life. For example, relationships. Women represent the negative force of life. This is completely unrelated to "negative" connotations. In this regard, negative means that which receives, nurtures, that which provides all the complicated and necessary attributes that allow things to grow and mature or re-act. Men on the other hand represent the positive force of life; that which makes, distributes, gets, that which is active and moves outward, that which acts.
Both negative and positive aspects have the same work to do, one being as important and vital as the other but they do it in different ways. The male force or the positive force sends out, the female or negative force receives. One acts, the other re-acts. The male acts by sending or projecting his seed into the vagina. The vagina then re-acts by processing or receiving and nurturing the seed. In this respect sending is positive, receiving is negative.
So relationships, successful relationships, that is, are based upon and established by balance. When learn this in chemistry when we mix chemicals together. If there is a balance the potion is successful. If there is no balance or harmony between the chemicals...well that's when accidents and explosions happen. But what happens when a personal, familial or intimate relationship is out-of-balance, when it is lop-sided (one side is heavier than the other)? The same thing that happens in chemistry: there are accidents, flare-ups, and explosions!
There are different kinds of lop-sided relationships such as the May-December relationship, the Income or Class relationship, the Inter-racial relationship, the Religious/Political relationship and the Education relationship, to name a few. All these relationships contain disparities between the parties, all real, not imagined. When there is disparity that means the balance is thrown off. Very often in lop-sided relationships the balance of power is thrown off, one person has more power than the other and using it over the other. Understand, power is NOT just about money. Humans are constructed in such a way that we are able to manipulate power on different levels, so that it can be physical, emotional, mental or spiritual.
In a May-December relationship, the disparity is in age: one person is older than another. There is a disparity of seven months between May and December. In these relationships one person is significantly older than the other. Let us set the bar a ten years. When there are ten or more years between the parties in a relationship that is one decade of culture, one decade of knowledge, one decade of experience, one decade of maturity that one of the parties does not have. And let us face it, the true nature and attraction of May-December relationships is S-E-X! These relationships hardly survive outside the bedroom.
In a Class or Income relationship one party is makes more money than the other or comes from a "better" class of people than the other. This is exacerbated if the man is the one making less. While some form of attraction may draw them together, until "love" is established and firmly planted, differences in class and income can cause significant problems in a relationship. The way a couple handles money can be an indicator of how healthy or unhealthy the relationship is. One cannot be a spend-thrift while the other is a penny-pincher.
I include Inter-racial relationships here because, despite progress in the status of African-Americans in the United States there is still a gross disparity in race relations between Blacks and Whites. Statistics in virtually every area of American life, bare this out. I hardly think it possible for this not to affect an inter-racial couple. They can be attracted to each other and in love as they want to be but when society impinges upon your relationship from the outside, it cannot help but cause problems. I could be completely wrong here, but I suspect there was some tension in the Loving household, between Richard (white) and Mildred (Black) (Loving v. Virginia, the landmark civil rights case that determined that barring inter-racial marriage was unconstitutional).
Religious/Political relationships can cause severe intensity particularly where the upbringing of children are concerned. These two things, Religion and Politics, were are told, should not be discussed among strangers or in introductory relationship because of the fire and intensity they invoke. To be in a relationship with this sort of intensity (where it is a dealbreaker) would simply predict an early end.
The Education component here is similiar to the class or income issue. No one likes to feel stupid or ignorant. When one party is obviously more intelligent, learned, well-read or educated than the other it can make the other feel insignificant or even left out. This is not a good feeling to nurse.
I would be intrigued to know the success rate of lop-sided relationships. I would prognosticate the success rate as relatively low, success being ten years or more. If we look at the media we have a pretty good view of May-December relationships, from Ivana Trump to Demi More to Halle Berry, all (previously) connected to younger men a decade or more younger. There are a few things that will permit a lop-sided relationship to not only survive, but thrive. They are
1. Maturity-this only comes with age and/or experience.
2. The ability to communicate your thoughts, concerns and desires.
3. Empathy-the ability to connect with, absorb or experience another's feelings.
These three things will allow any relationship to succeed, even when forces are impinging from the outside. Romeo and Juliet were ill-fated, so too were Tony and Maria from West Side Story, an adaption of Romeo and Juliet. Romeo and Juliet were "from two households, both alike in dignity," they were from the same class, socially. Tony and Maria, while they too were from the same "same side fo the tracks", suffered the additional indignity of race between the whites and the puerto ricans. Romeo and Juliet's families were like the Hatfields and the McCoys. Each couple's love was not permitted to survive because of forces outside their relationship. It would be nice to have these stories revisted to see them survive and continue their relationships even in the presence of outside forces beating on them like waves against a craggy shore. In such an instance I would suspect only removing themselves from the presence of their families and environment would give them succor and allow the love they have to blossom.
Balance contributes to the success of all things: day and night, good and evil, feast and famine. When things fall out of balance there is a price to be paid for the restoration of balance. Let us be mature, communicative and empathetic in our relationships, no matter what their nature. Let us keep things, in balance.
Balance applies to virtually every aspect of life, without balance disorder and chaos would ensue. Currently the world financial systems are out of balance and this is causing reverberations throughout the world. Practically every world economy is off balance. This balance is further thrown off kilter by the growing ferocity in the disparity between rich and poor.
But let us talk about relationships, shall we? Balance also applies to relationships. When two people find themselves attracted to each other and decide to come together whether for an anonymous hook-up or an extended period of time, they hardly realize their attraction is based on a conception (or lack thereof) of balance. This primordial phenomenon is based on positive, negative and neutral energy. To some extent we learn about this in chemistry. But these three currents, positive, negative and neutral move far beyond chemistry. They apply to almost every aspect of life. For example, relationships. Women represent the negative force of life. This is completely unrelated to "negative" connotations. In this regard, negative means that which receives, nurtures, that which provides all the complicated and necessary attributes that allow things to grow and mature or re-act. Men on the other hand represent the positive force of life; that which makes, distributes, gets, that which is active and moves outward, that which acts. Both negative and positive aspects have the same work to do, one being as important and vital as the other but they do it in different ways. The male force or the positive force sends out, the female or negative force receives. One acts, the other re-acts. The male acts by sending or projecting his seed into the vagina. The vagina then re-acts by processing or receiving and nurturing the seed. In this respect sending is positive, receiving is negative.
There are different kinds of lop-sided relationships such as the May-December relationship, the Income or Class relationship, the Inter-racial relationship, the Religious/Political relationship and the Education relationship, to name a few. All these relationships contain disparities between the parties, all real, not imagined. When there is disparity that means the balance is thrown off. Very often in lop-sided relationships the balance of power is thrown off, one person has more power than the other and using it over the other. Understand, power is NOT just about money. Humans are constructed in such a way that we are able to manipulate power on different levels, so that it can be physical, emotional, mental or spiritual.
In a May-December relationship, the disparity is in age: one person is older than another. There is a disparity of seven months between May and December. In these relationships one person is significantly older than the other. Let us set the bar a ten years. When there are ten or more years between the parties in a relationship that is one decade of culture, one decade of knowledge, one decade of experience, one decade of maturity that one of the parties does not have. And let us face it, the true nature and attraction of May-December relationships is S-E-X! These relationships hardly survive outside the bedroom.
In a Class or Income relationship one party is makes more money than the other or comes from a "better" class of people than the other. This is exacerbated if the man is the one making less. While some form of attraction may draw them together, until "love" is established and firmly planted, differences in class and income can cause significant problems in a relationship. The way a couple handles money can be an indicator of how healthy or unhealthy the relationship is. One cannot be a spend-thrift while the other is a penny-pincher.
I include Inter-racial relationships here because, despite progress in the status of African-Americans in the United States there is still a gross disparity in race relations between Blacks and Whites. Statistics in virtually every area of American life, bare this out. I hardly think it possible for this not to affect an inter-racial couple. They can be attracted to each other and in love as they want to be but when society impinges upon your relationship from the outside, it cannot help but cause problems. I could be completely wrong here, but I suspect there was some tension in the Loving household, between Richard (white) and Mildred (Black) (Loving v. Virginia, the landmark civil rights case that determined that barring inter-racial marriage was unconstitutional).
Religious/Political relationships can cause severe intensity particularly where the upbringing of children are concerned. These two things, Religion and Politics, were are told, should not be discussed among strangers or in introductory relationship because of the fire and intensity they invoke. To be in a relationship with this sort of intensity (where it is a dealbreaker) would simply predict an early end.
The Education component here is similiar to the class or income issue. No one likes to feel stupid or ignorant. When one party is obviously more intelligent, learned, well-read or educated than the other it can make the other feel insignificant or even left out. This is not a good feeling to nurse.
I would be intrigued to know the success rate of lop-sided relationships. I would prognosticate the success rate as relatively low, success being ten years or more. If we look at the media we have a pretty good view of May-December relationships, from Ivana Trump to Demi More to Halle Berry, all (previously) connected to younger men a decade or more younger. There are a few things that will permit a lop-sided relationship to not only survive, but thrive. They are
1. Maturity-this only comes with age and/or experience.
2. The ability to communicate your thoughts, concerns and desires.
3. Empathy-the ability to connect with, absorb or experience another's feelings.
These three things will allow any relationship to succeed, even when forces are impinging from the outside. Romeo and Juliet were ill-fated, so too were Tony and Maria from West Side Story, an adaption of Romeo and Juliet. Romeo and Juliet were "from two households, both alike in dignity," they were from the same class, socially. Tony and Maria, while they too were from the same "same side fo the tracks", suffered the additional indignity of race between the whites and the puerto ricans. Romeo and Juliet's families were like the Hatfields and the McCoys. Each couple's love was not permitted to survive because of forces outside their relationship. It would be nice to have these stories revisted to see them survive and continue their relationships even in the presence of outside forces beating on them like waves against a craggy shore. In such an instance I would suspect only removing themselves from the presence of their families and environment would give them succor and allow the love they have to blossom.Balance contributes to the success of all things: day and night, good and evil, feast and famine. When things fall out of balance there is a price to be paid for the restoration of balance. Let us be mature, communicative and empathetic in our relationships, no matter what their nature. Let us keep things, in balance.
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