Sometimes I Feel Like a Motherless Child

Sometimes...

As A Man Thinketh In His Heart, So Is He

"Man is made or unmade by himself; in the armory of thought he forges the weapons by which he destroys himself; he also fashions the tools with which he builds for himself heavenly mansions of joy and strength and peace.  By the right choice and true application of thought, man ascends to the Divine Perfection; by the abuse and wrong application of thought, he descends below the level of the beast.  Between these two extremes are all the grades of character, and man is their maker and master."

-James Allen

  As A Man Thinketh

Why I am A Christian

Christianity is a path or  way living which espouses the teachings of Jesus, the Christ, purported to be the son of God.  The teachings of Jesus, like his life, were intended to aid the aspiring individual toward achieving his apotheosis just as Jesus achieved his as the Christ.  There were five stages in the life of Jesus which the aspirant is to follow and mimic in his/her own life.  Jesus came to us at the Birth at Bethlehem and was subsequently baptized in the waters of Jordan.  He was then transfigured before three of his disciples, ultimately crucified and resurrected. Thus we have the Birth at Bethlehem, the Baptism in the waters of Jordan, the Transfiguration, the Crucifixion and the Resurrection.   These scenes are profoundly symbolic but also are a reality each Christian must invoke in their life of faith, putting themselves through a trial by fire that will ultimately consume all that makes them unworthy to stand in the presence of Spirit. 

Why would someone believe or commit themselves to some such story? There is still contention surrounding the reality of a man called Jesus.   Historically such a personage existed and was thought to be a Jewish rabbi.  Beyond this the camps diverge dramatically.  I will speak for myself and confess belief in Jesus, the Christ, which given my intellectual temperament should come as a surprise.  I have been burdened in this life with a hyper-critical nature that can pretty much tear the skin off any form of ideation or philosophy, laying it bare.    So what appeals to me enough to submit to the teachings of Jesus, the Christ?  Two things.

One, my nature is highly inquisitive and my life has been spent seeking answers, knowledge of this and that.  Like a little squirrel rummaging around for nuts that he gathers and stores, so have I satiated my thirst for knowledge gathering books and information to store in my home and ultimately my mind.  Knowledge of the workings of life has enticed me since I can remember. I was entranced as a child going to church every Sunday and enjoying the stories and lessons in Sunday School and Vacation Bible School.  And, as a child during the sermons by our preacher at Mt. Carmel Baptist Church in Fayetteville, North Carolina, I never understood why he could talk at his leisure but I could not ask  questions.  I wanted to know more!  Obviously at such a young age I could not articulate the yearning for knowledge inside me nor what drew me to those bible stories or why I quietly wondered why things were the way they were philosophically and spiritually. 

As I grew older so too did my inquiry.   I found myself less and less satisfied with what the church had to offer by way of their trite sermons and tired platitudes.  Finally in my early twenties I left the church,  disappointed in its personnel, its political structure and its cliques.  When I found my way out of those shackles my search took on a whole new reality.  Roaming around our public library I made my way to  Edgar Cayce.  Then to Theosophy and ultimately to the Alice Bailey readings.   Interspersed in there were stops in numerology and astrology.  With my ferreting out the esoteric sciences and the ancient wisdom, Matthew 7:7 seemed to be true:  Ask, and it shall be given you; seek and ye shall find, knock and it shall be opened unto you.   I had finally come to a hall of knowledge where all my questions had answers.  I understood orthodox Christianity was the first step on a path that led me to Mysticism. Orthodoxy concerns the facade of life; Mysticism seeks to uncover what lies behind the facade.  I wanted to know the reasons behind the causes. Orthodox faiths do not grant such knowledge.  Thanks to the work of Jesus, the veil of the temple had been rent in two!  That which was previously hidden was now subject to discovery upon diligent inquiry.  It was during this period of my discovery in my twenties, that I started having experiences during sleep:  working in the fields, meeting like-minded aspirants and being proffered opportunity for further study.  Not only did I know there was more to life, but now I was being shown!

Secondly, my reason for submitting to Christianity is I am hopelessly constrained by Beauty.  What does this have to do with Christianity you ask?  It is beautiful, of course.  Jesus is beautiful.  His actions make him the ultimate vision of Beauty.  Such a vision is completely devoid of selfishness, which is composed of all those little annoyances that drag the Spirit down like ambition, pride, gluttony and superiority.  Freed from these your Light can shine unimpeded, creating a vision of what spirit truly looks like.  What could be more beautiful?   I want to be beautiful!

It should be pretty apparent by now that why I speak of as Christianity and what the ugly reality is are two different things.  To help understand and separate them it is best to think of Jesus's teachings as Christianity.  However, what man has subsequently created goes by the term, "Churchianity."  Churchianity is an entirely new body that rose up out of man's desire and lust for power, followed by his politic-ing.  Its base is predicated upon religion because it understands humanity's inclination toward divinity.  It seeks to manipulate that inclination to sustain its gluttonous power.  People are too easily lured by its peacock struts because they depend upon these self-same peacocks for instruction and guidance rather than seeking a base of understanding through work, prayer, meditation and study.  Until such is the case, they will continue to be led astray.  Jesus himself said, "I am the way, the truth and the life.  No man cometh to the father but by me." (emphasis added)   He alone can guide you upon the path. 

Being a Christian means many things, chief among them being true to Self.  Not the selfish little Self, but the highest aspect of the Self (sometimes called the Christ consciousness) you can manage. It also means struggle, which does not cease but intensifies the closer to Spirit you find yourself.  The reward for such struggle is recorded in the Book of Revelation (given to he who overcomes).  But as for me, the reward I have my eye on is Beauty.  I want to be beautiful!

Pick Your Pu**y Carefully!

This is for all my straight brothers and sisters out there.  Sometimes you guys are really stupid!  And I mean that more so for the men than the women.  Women seem to take a smaller dosage of stupid than men.  What am I talking about?  Well, the New York media scene has been set ablaze with allegations that have been leveled against Fox 5 Good Day New York morning anchor, Greg Kelly.  Mr. Kelly, whom we watch at work virtually every morning with his co-host, Rosanna Scotto, is alleged to have met a young (?) lady on the street in Manhattan, had drinks with her and then went back to her office where she was employed as an attorney and sexually assaulted her.  The latest I heard yesterday is that she was too intoxicated to be able to consent to sexual relations-Mr. Kelly having taken advantage of her drunken state to ease her out of her virtue-thus a sexual assault.

This is alleged to have happened last October, in 2011.  Some time after the hook up, the young woman's boyfriend (yes, you read that correctly, boyfriend!) accosted Greg Kelly's father, New York Police Commissioner, Ray Kelly, and said that the senior Kelly's son had ruined his girlfriend's life.  Thrown into the mix are bits and pieces such as the young lady allegedly had an abortion after her clandestine

meeting with Kelly, that she was texting Kelly back and forth over the three month period after the alleged rape.

There are so many lessons here I am going to have to address them individually!

1.  Women-when you meet a man for the first time over drinks and afterward go to his home or your home, the bathroom, the car, the bushes, whatever- your virture, your integrity evaporates.  Poof, it's gone!  It is irrelevant what you think your intentions are.  It is UNDERSTOOD what your intentions are.  You may as well be a prostitute plucked from an anonymous street corner.  Unless you clarify the destination point and its purpose it is quite clear what you intend to do when you leave the social safety net of the bar.

2.  Men-When women agree to leave the confines of the bar with you, one of two things is going to happen.  A.) there will be sex or B.) there will be an allegation of sexual assault. You have to use your deepest judgment do determine which will eventuate.   Most importantly when you have gotten all hot and bothered and the woman suddenly says, "no", zip it up and promptly depart the premises.  End of story, unless of course you are a total player and insist on playing the game.  Then you wait her out, you court her, blah, blah, blah.  But beware!  Sometimes the player becomes the played.

3.  Men and women-meeting someone on the street and going for drinks is socially unacceptable, it is tacky and uncouth.  Properly, if you catch someone's eye, you greet, you meet and exchange numbers and arrange for a get together, even if it is later on that evening (and preferrably with other friends).  Do not leave the street and head to a bar.  Tsk! Tsk! Tsk!  Hook ups have an element of danger attached to them. Too often we take the risk without care or thought.  Statistically we should understand, one day, one day there will be a reckoning!

4.  Men, 40 and over-if you have ranking, social or otherwise a young woman is interested in you for one of  two reasons 1).  what you can do for her 2). What she can get out of you.  Unless you are George Clooney, no, you are not that hot!

As I indicated above we watch Greg Kelly virtually every morning.  Anyone else who does so would call these allegations laughable.  Greg, with a woman?  O.K.  But let's play along.  Even so, Greg Kelly is the epitome of a gentleman. He uses big words in his sentences, has a bit of a stiff upper lip (conservative)  and somewhat of a dork.  I cannot imagine him having any game at all.  Lesson #4!  (He could be the biggest freak out there.  Conservative folk do seem to have the greatest appetites, eh, Mr. Gingrich!)

I do not know who this young lady is, but she has shot herself in the foot way too many times even before Mr. Kelly has been charged.  She has a boyfriend and is out picking men up off the street. She uses her office where she is employed, not where she is the employer, for a hook up.  What kind of a professional woman gets intoxicated to the extent that she loses control of her virtue?  It's hardly worth the while to pick her character up out of the toilet. This nothwithstanding, the whole affair wreaks of a set-up. 

Unfortunately, the young lady's dignity is not the only one destroyed here.  Greg can kiss his job good- bye, whether the allegations are true or not.  He has been ruined.  His father, Police Commissioner, Ray Kelly and the New York District Attorney's office have been thrown into precarious position.  To save face, they must ship this case out or bring in an outside investigator and justice system.  Yes, gentlemen, pick your pussy carefully! 

Under the Influence

Most states in the union have laws against acting under the influence.  But sometimes we are under the influence in ways which we neglect to count.  Drugs and alcohol are easy enough to understand and count  because of the physical changes they havoc on our nervous system and physiology.  But there are other means of being under the influence that we need to consider perhaps just as vehemently. 

Love and  infatuation produce radical changes in the physiology of the human being.   Science has confirmed that a rush of chemicals flood our brains when we are infatuated or in love with someone.   Under the influence of love or infatuation we behave differently, do things differently, see the world differently than we would otherwise.  Our friends, who have monitored us and are familiar with our composure and temperament know immediately when we have met someone with whom we have become enchanted or they know, too, when we have "gotten some."

They say "love is many-splendored thing" and this we only know when we are in the throws of its splendor, wrapped up as we are in our intended.  As wonderful as the splendors of love are they can have damaging effects when we are under its influence.   We lavish our intended with gifts that devastate our bank accounts, we perform tasks we otherwise would not attempt, we allow ourselves into situations we might otherwise never entertain.  In otherwords, in love, under the influence, we step out of ourselves for the sake of wooing someone.  We take leave of our senses and indulge our desire which can have deleterious effects on our lives.   Lucetta says to her mistress, Julia, in Shakespeare's Two Gentlemen of Verona: 

                   "I do not seek to quench your love's hot fire;
                    But qualify the fire's extreme rage,
                    Lest it should burn above the bounds of reason."

The maidservant was trying to tell her mistress to calm down and toss a little reason into all that passion she was mustering up over Proteus, her intended.  Poor girl was duly under the influence-she was asking her maid for counsel on matters of love!  Just like a good cup of coffee and some nap time can mitigate the influence of alcohol so too can some good old fashion reason quench the fires of infatuation and love so that we can keep our dignity (and bank accounts) in tact.   Fall in love, be infatuated but bring your reason and temperance along with you lest you find yourself guilty of operating under the influence!

What Makes YOU Ugly?

To be ugly is to be unattractive.  Too often we relegate ugliness simply to our physical characteristics.  In truth, our behaviour and character can be as terribly unattractive as some people propose our facial features are.  There are those of us who harass and tease, denegrate and demoralize; there are those of us who assault and victimize; there are those of us who ruin and destroy; there are those of us who gossip, who are reactionary, narrow-minded, gluttonous, prejudiced, insecure, etc.   Ugliness has many faces.

In moments of honesty and truth, it grieves me to acknowledge that I have worn many of these faces, that I have been ugly towards others, toward the world.  Ugliness is unpleasant, devious and nasty.  These are sensations in which we relish and luxuriate at times, particularly if others have expressed them toward us.  Most often we express them in groups and among others.  It is often said "misery loves company," but I suspect it is not just misery that loves company!

I often think that even the ugliest of us, that is, those of us whom people do not find pleasing to the eye, can be the most attractive, the most beautiful, simply because they do not have any ugliness in their character.  Of these people, I often wonder, what makes them beautiful?  Is it their kindness, their empathy?  Perhaps this what Jesus, the Christ, was trying to communicate to mankind by his injunctions such as, "judge not, that ye be not judged," (Matthew 7:1).

Ugliness tears down character and strips one's aura (that invisible body of color and light which communicates things to us on emotional, mental and spiritual levels) of its color and beauty. It prevents the light of spirit from shining through the body.  Jesus says, let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your father which  is in heaven. Matthew 5:16.  When we express ugliness our light is not shining; we have put it away, hidden it by our ugly thoughts and deeds.   Light is that which represents the good, the true and the beautiful.  As simple and platitudinous as it may sound, it is the only thing powerful enough to turn back the darkness or the ugliness in men. 

Ugliness is what drags the world down and prevents us all from being the best and most beautiful we can be, from making the world a better place, a place full of beautiful people.  What is it that keeps you from being beautiful?  What is it that makes YOU ugly?

Every 365 days (or so) the earth makes one revolution around the Sun bringing us into a new year, which we greet with trememdous excitement and fanfare!  The new year cuts off the cycle of the past 365 days and introduces us to the spectacle and sheen of newness, the energy of which is the energy of possibility, potential and opportunity.

For those of us who are active personalities we take this possibility, this potential, this opportunity and we continue to create and built using this energy to better our lives and forward the purposes we hold dear to our hearts and minds.  For those of us who are less active and more re-active we wait and see what possiblities lie ahead of us and brace ourselves for the impact which newness and change always bring in their train.

A new year, just like a new day, new season, or new hour all have one thing in common: their newness, that sheen that did not appear before and was not possible with the faded patina of the old.  Newness endows man with a fresh basin of hope, from which all his old dreams have evaporated.  Everything new, refills this basin bringing new opportunities and additional possiblities which did not seem possible with the old.  Sometimes the new communicates to man that the creator has not yet completely lost faith in its creation and that each new thing is an opportunity for man to redeem himself and his activity.

I can remember fewer years that I was more anxious to end than last year, 2011.  After a rough 2010 we were hoping for the respite of a new year.  But 2011 proved to be infinitely more contentious and divisive that any before it, in my memory.  We saw the rise of the "Tea Party", a blight on the consciousness of American politics.  We saw more children taken and their feeble and innocent little flames snuffed out by all manner of perverts, psychos, and sickos.  We saw the Middle East awaken from a slumber none thought possible to break.  We saw the financial crises deepen and more Americans finding themselves in places they never thought reserved for them.  It was, in my opinion, a horrible year!  But we did see the end of the Iraq war, that misfit and impetulant child born and bred during the Bush Administration.  For this we cannot be too thankful!

I pray that this new year will bring a fresh spring of opportunity, potential and possibility unlike any before it.  We need to recover, but I fear in times of great stress and strain such as America and the rest of the world are suffering now, we shrink back in fear and tighten the grip of authority which leds us into the bosom of fundamentalism and totalitarianism.   I certainly hope the election of 2012 does not see America fall into the pit of religious fundamentalism, nor any other country for that matter. 

I recently saw a documentary about Afghanistan after the Taliban and the many wars and occupations, which it suffered since the late 1970s.  It's people were heavy with sadness and burdened with the awful strains and griefs that war produce.  The program was about a singing competition much like American Idol.  The people responded with an uproar and fervor at the return of music.  The Taliban had outlawed music and singing.  This was lifted in 2004-6 and the people responded ferociously.  It seemed so much of their hopes and dreams lay with the introduction of the competition to their fledgling society.  It was encouraging to see the light of hope that beamed in these peoples' eyes as they talked about the competition and its contestants.  It became clear they saw the competition as more than just music but as a bringer of new life to their forsaken lands.  It was amazing, all the energy that lay in their hopes and dreams for a better life through music.

And that is what the new year brings to us every 365 days-a new vessel for our hopes and dreams and new opportunity for our actions to consume and blossom. May this new year bring us closer to a better world.  May we find ourselves better people.  May we take advantage opportunities to help others without thought or care for reward and may the cracks and crevices of wickedness and evil be filled by an outpouring of love, the one for the other.   Amen