MONEY IS THE MANIFESTATION OF LOVE?

There are times when the country needs to take note of lessons being taught right before its eyes.  Such times include the Chris Brown/Rihanna saga, for it highlighted domestic violence for a young generation; the pageant for plus size women brought under the auspices of comedienne, Monique, for it highlighted and gave dignity to plus size women.  Another such time I caught on a few episode of Gene Simmon's Family Jewels last season.  Last season his paramour of more than two decades, Shannon Tweed, walked out on him. She longed to have their union legalized and recognized before God and man.  However, Gene Simmons resisted marriage satisfying himself with the arrangement so many men are accustomed to and revel in: "why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?".

However, last season it came to a head when his lover and mother of his children, Shannon Tweed, left the mansion and went to her parents' home.  The situation forced Gene Simmons to deal with himself, his children, and his mother in a manner he had not previously done.  He under went therapy for all to see.  I give the man a tremendous amount of credit for a few reasons.  He is a man, a straight man, for starters.  Second, he has lived in a culture of rock stardom where pretty much anything was at his disposal, alcohol, drugs, women...   This can not help but inflate the ego of a man. These two things would tend to prevent a man from seeking out therapy or counseling because of his ego.  And he certainly would not do it on national television for the entertainment and consumption of the country.  Mr. Simmons deserves a tremendous amount of credit for taking this step and allowing us to follow along as he sat with his therapist and allowed her to uncover layers of himself and admit his failings, his Peter Pan complex and/or the ailing psychology of the perpetual bachelor (even though he was engaged in a common law marriage with two adult children).

In one of his sessions with his family, I believe, they were speaking about his role as a father.  Mr. Simmons made a statement which I found intriguing but not at all surprising.  He said, "money is the manifestation of love."  I thought, "Wow, Gene has some philosophy going on up in here!"  I wondered if that statement was of his own or something he picked up somewhere.  I was not surprised at the statement because typically this philosophy, whether spoken or unspoken is the guiding light of most men who have families.  Men are traditionally the "breadwinners" of the family.  However,  too often this role is woven into the very fabric of their existence causing pernicious problems when they are laid off,  unable to find work or not enough work.  Simmons was asked if he thought he was a good father and answer yes, that he provided very well for his family.  When his children were asked the same question they essentially said he was an excellent provider but not so good as a father. This could not have been easy for a man to hear, but hear it so many men should.

Men must be brought around to the fact that being a provider and a father are things that may overlap but they are essentially different in nature.  For a provider there is no emotional connection, he simply makes and provides provisions. Many men have this lifestyle when they pay child support but have no interest or affect in the lives of their children.  A father on the other hand, one half of the equation of parenthood, has the responsibility  of teaching his children discipline and responsibility. He has to make a connection with his children different from that of the mother, who provides love, nurturing and emotional connectivity, if you will. It is the presence of our mothers that teach us how to love and how to connect to others.  Our fathers teach us how to deal with people and to be honorable in such dealings so that we may be a reflection of the integrity of our family.  When a man comes home and plops his feet on the sofa and watches television or slips off into a nap or reads the papers and suffers his family no interaction, he is a provider, not a father.  He must learn to enlarge his scope and understand that money is NOT the manifestation of love.  For when there is no money, is there no love?  When one does not have money does that mean one is unworthy of love?  Does the absence of money make one unfit for love?

Money is a concrete form of energy that we utilize to conduct business and transaction.  Money is not the manifestation love.   Our fathers should be the first to teach us this so that we understand the relationship between money and ourselves, so that we understand we are not our money and that our being consists of honor and integrity, forms of energy which are not concrete but non-the-less as potent a form of energy as money.  The bond between father and child is a special bond.  Our fathers have much to teach us.  Though Gene Simmons made an error in judgment with his statement that "money is the manifestation of love", he later appeared on The Talk and talked about rearing his children and the role Shannon Tweed also had in teaching their children the philosophy they live by.  He spoke of instilling in his children a work ethic, of the importance of making one's way in the world.  The few times that I have seen Mr. Simmons on television this year I have been impressed with his honesty and candor and his willingness to share his feelings and his vulnerability.  I think as a father, he ain't half bad!  And I think the country's fathers and men have  an opportunity to learn a valuable lesson from his exposing his feelings and his vulnerability.  No, money is not the manifestation of love.  Love is the manifestation of love!