THE STRONG BLACK WOMAN AND THE ANGRY BLACK WOMAN

It has been said that "the hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world."  Historically women have not wielded power to the extent that men have but they are the eternal fountain from which empires and kingdoms perpetually spring.  History has often concealed women as the powers behind the throne.  The power they wielded was not obvious or conspicuous but subtle and inconspicuous from Nefertiti, Cleopatra and Mary, the mother of Jesus, to Coretta Scott King, Nancy Reagan and Michelle Obama.  A woman is gifted with a power all her own.  That power is nature's means of evening the odds or balancing the scales.  A woman's power may be base, relying on cunning and seduction (Cleopatra) or it can be exalted, growing out of love and wisdom (Mary, the mother of Jesus).

The power of each of the sexes comes from different places, is born of different circumstances.  Power has many characteristics, endurance, perseverance and strength, being principle among them.   When these pass through the female  they are tempered by love and understanding.and become an alloy peculiar to women.  This alloy of endurance, perseverance, love and understanding grant women a phenomenal strength, the phenomenal strength of the Phenomenal Woman or the indomitable strength inherent in the utterance, Still, I Rise.  These two poems evolved out of a black woman who epitomizes the strong black woman, Maya Angelou.  Maya Angelou's youth was poisoned by a sexual assault; as a young, single mother she turned to prostitution to support herself and son.  Instead of getting trapped in this lifestyle as so many unfortunate women do with its train of violence, drugs and alcohol, she went on to become a trained dancer, which brought her much success in this country and overseas.  She eventually started her writing career, which would catapult her to worldwide recognition.  One may posit that her strength came from the trials and tribulations she faced, and faced down and over which she triumphed.

It is a truism that difficulty builds character and tempers the human constitution as the blacksmith's hammer tempers a steel blade.  But what happens when a woman travels the road of life and encounters difficulty without the benefit of strength, endurance, perseverance, love and understanding?  Instead of this valuable alloy she has a potion of  bitterness, anger, and deviousness and becomes shackled by hate, unable to find a resolution to the unbalanced equation that is her life.  Perhaps she has a right to be angry based upon the circumstances of her life. When a black woman is or becomes  the angry woman she is the urban phenomenon we call, the angry black woman.  She is the one with an attitude of defiance, the one who hardly listens and constantly talks.  She is obsessed with letting people know she has authority and strength, which more often than not come off as aggression and bullying.  She is pissed off at people because they do not seem to recognize her, respect her or honor her.  She wants to be known or perceived as intelligent but this too frequently degenerates into deviousness.

When I first saw The Real Housewives of Atlanta I was drawn to the "real" character of Nene Leaks, like most people.  Her no-nonsense way about things was often refreshing.  She was fun and bubbly.  But as the seasons progressed and loyalties dissolved and situations and circumstances came and went I saw an angry black woman emerging.  Nene Leaks proved bombastic and argumentative and...angry, always up in someone's face.

With the benefit of Psychology we know that anger is simply hurt on steroids.   Often women who are angry at the world and those around them, suffer or nurture some sort of hurt.  It may be the guy who loved them and left them;  a painful bump on the head  or concussion from the glass ceiling at work; or in general the refusal of the world to acknowledge them for who they THINK they are.  She has not yet achieved the wisdom to understand that often what you think you project into the world is often not what the world sees.  Her anger needs to be diffused at its source.  Her attitude needs to be channeled down constructive avenues.  Her intelligence needs direction.  Her love, the hallmark and beauty of women, needs to be reborn.

This my hope for Nene Leaks.  I believe she is a beautiful woman, angry now and burdened with an unbalanced equation, but I hope she EVOLVES into a strong black woman.  A strong black woman does not need to yell for her strength and integrity go before her.  A strong black woman does not have an attitude problem for her accomplishments have given her character confidence.  A strong black woman does not need to be aggressive for she draws others to her by the stature of her character.  These were the women we called grandmother and great-grandmother, the ones who took the sexual assault of lascivious ole massah, the ones who looked after and nurtured little white babies, the ones who cleaned the houses of white folk, the ones who were refused entrance and denied rights,but they held their heads high and kept their backs straight and walked with dignity.  These were the first strong black women.