Good Hair!!

Yesterday on Dr. Drew Pinsky's talk show, he was accompanied by actress, Kim Coles.  Ms. Coles had revealed that she had previously worn extensions for some 20 years and had recently decided to rock her natural hair.  The subject of the show was the much debated issue in the black community, good hair.  Dr. Drew, as a white man, was completely taken aback by how pervasive and intense the issue of hair is among black women.  One guest wore extensions and had her young daughter (about 12) who wore her hair naturally.  Because she wore her hair naturally she was being teased by her schoolmates who chided her for not having a perm or "straight" hair.  The child broke down into tears when asked how she felt about the teasing.

In the black community the definition of good hair that I grew up with was hair that was silky, smooth and straight, like a white person.
But the definition seems to have evolved to hair that is manageable.
Hence, kinky or knappy hair is not considered good hair because it is so difficult to manage.  But the trend seemed to be more and more women were stripping off the wigs and the weaves and the extensions and going with their natural hair.  Dr. Drew had a woman on the show who worked with black women to show them how to accept their natural hair and work with it to make it more manageable.  The guest mentioned above with the daughter came on the show with her extensions but allowed this woman to take them out and work with her natural hair (at the end of the show).

The thing that I found offensive about the show was that Dr. Drew focused primarily on black women, as if they were the only women with issues about their hair.  It should be noted that women as a group have issues with their hair.  Hair for a woman is a symbol, a form of her identity, just like breast size.  Many women are sensitive about their hair, particularly those who suffer from thinning hair, or loss of hair because of treatment for cancer.  Some women desire a lucious and luxurious head of hair because they feel this makes them more desireable in the eyes of men.  "Good hair" is not simply an issue for black women.  It is an issue for ALL women,  though, tis true enough black women have their own set of issues regarding hair that matters of race intrude upon.                                                                



During the long drawn out centuries of slavery and more so in the earlier part of the twentieth century when black folk started to mingle more, there were  blacks of mixed lineage who could "pass" for white because of their skin color and the texture of their hair.  These folk were usually more successful or had better opportunities because they could mingle undetected in the white community.  This is one of the first issues regarding  good hair: that it allowed people to pass.  Good hair was seen as a trophy of sorts among black people since kinky hair was so unmanageable.  This attitude toward hair was also reflected in the attitude toward skin color:  the lighter the skin the better you were.  Even today in the black commnunity skin color is still an intense topic that reveals the depths of self-hatred to which  black folk still torture themselves.   But truthfully, wherever there is variation in skin color there is the subject of skin color prejudice.  In India, China and South America, Africa and the Middle East the lighter the skin the more opportunities and the better you are perceived to be.

Dr. Drew also went into a black barbershop and spoke to some black men about the issue of black women's hair.  These men were also featured on the show.  Let me just say that their attitudes and statements were grievously embarrasing!  The trend among them was they wanted to marry women with "good hair" so that their children would have good hair.  It was pretty much unanimous that they did not want children with kinky or knappy hair.  It seemed to be completely lost on these men that they all had kinky hair!  The hair was all close-cropped like Jay-Z or Chris Rock but if if were allowed to grow out it would surely be kinky hair.  I thought this was disgusting and again advertised the intense issues of self hatred and self image that the black community has been crippled with all these centuries since our contact with white folk and the admixture of our races.

It was also revealed that black men love the silky straight hair that usually turns out to be  a weave or extensions but when they marry or commit to a black woman they prefer her to reveal and wear her natural hair.  The disparities were plenty enough!  But Kim Coles, with her usual grace and tact, simply wanted women to find their indentities not in their hair but in themselves and therefore rock whatever style they felt comfortable with.  Within this sentiment was the idea that you were true to yourself or with yourself and to why you wore your hair the way you chose to wear your hair.  If you decided upon a weave or extensions it was because you like them not because you hate kinky hair and are trying to distance yourself from your identity as a black woman. 

We have so much work to do in the black community with regard to our identities and our image.  I often say that even if racism and prejudice were gone today, we in the black community would still have a plethora of issues to sort out.  But as time moves along and more and more of us come into ourselves like Kim Coles, we will dispose of the ideas and condiments of self hatred and revel in our  identities and individuals and as a part of our group.  We will be "self-possessed" as a friend of mine once stated.   Amen.